The usual
by Anonymous Shipper
Summary: Sad. Dramatic. You're warned. Just read it.
1. The Bottle

Kaoru's fingers dug into Hikaru's shoulder, and he let out a sigh. Staring down at his passed out drunken other half, Hikaru lay sloppily on the couch, his arm dangling off the side, the tips of his fingers touched an empty open flask with the last bit of the whiskey poured out on the red velvet colored rug. Kaoru left the living room, twisting and turning around all the junk and garbage Hikaru had in his house. It was almost impossible to navigate through there. But he finally made his way to the hallway closet, yanking it open and jumping to the side to avoid the crap crumbling down on top of him. Stepping on a few things he sighed and yanked out a crumpled up soft blue throw blanket. Looking down he noticed an old High School year book. Dropping the blanket, he sank to the floor, picking up the dusty old book. He ran his fingers across the dust, reveling strips of the Ouran Academy symbol. He flipped through the book for awhile, reminiscing on how High School was. It seemed like it's been forever. In reality they've only aged about 8 years, but his brother and him had lost all connection with all of their old friends. Most of them went on to be famous in some way or another. Kaoru closed the book, and thought to himself: _Hikaru on the other hand blew most of his money, and is now living in an average apartment that he's trashed, drinking himself to sleep everyday. _Getting to his feet, he stepped over the pile of mess, seeing as it made almost no difference. Making his way back to the living room, Hikaru was now awake. The older twin was sitting up, but hunched over, his elbows digging into his knees, and his scruffy face buried in his hands.

* * *

Kaoru sat down gently at his brothers side, flailing the blanket around Hikaru's shoulders. Hikaru wouldn't look at him. The usual. Kaoru spoke softly, "How are you feeling today..?" The usual. Hikaru snorted. The usual. Kaoru's gut wrenched, as always, the usual bothered him. He knew the answer to his next question, so he dreaded asking it. "...Would you like me to help you with anything today?" Hikaru shot him a look, he knew that Kaoru would ask that everyday. He knew, yet he still only bothered to guilt him into the same thing everyday. He smirked and said "Only thing I need from you is more liquor from the store." His tone today was a bit harsher than normal. Kaoru looked unfazed, but his insides were tearing up. "Then I guess stopping by the store on my way here was a good idea." Hikaru looked away, his hair darkening his eyes.

* * *

The same thing. Everyday. Kaoru would come in, try and help his brother but as usual Hikaru didn't want to be helped. It had become a routine. But today, something was different... Hikaru looked a little worse, and Kaoru looked a little more depressed. Pulling out the bottle of cheap whiskey, he handed it to his twin and took off to the dining room. Pulling out all sorts of old goodies Hikaru hadn't used in years, Kaoru began decorating the dinner table. Silk white table cloth, tall candles, silver dishes and silverware. Everything sparkled. He sprinkled the table with red and white rose petals, just the way Hikaru used to like it. Kaoru took a deep breath. Today was the day. He smiled a bit, first in a long time. Moving himself to the kitchen he began dinner preparations, Lobster. Hikaru's favorite, before the whiskey.  
Chugging the whiskey as fast as he could, it only took a few minutes for Hikaru to be drooling on himself drunk. He stood up and wobbled his way to the bathroom, tripping on his way there, he landed face first into a dusty old book. He stared down at the old book, minute after minute passed slowly as the room swirled around that dusty old book. Not realizing it, his cheeks were wet. He sat up and touched them. His face was numb. Glancing down again, he picked up the book. Choking out sobs he hugged the book close to him and curled up in the dirty hallway. His cries echoed down the hallway...

* * *

Dinner was finished. Kaoru placed everything on the table. He'd never seen a more delicious looking meal. He knew it'd make Hikaru feel better. Well, he prayed, and for once he was hopeful. Lighting the candles, he smiled to himself, it was a sad smile but a smile none-the-less. A few muffled sobs broke his concentration on the small fire, and he moved his way into the hallway. Turning the corner he saw Hikaru laying sideways on the floor in the fetal position, sobbing. His heart broke, and he rushed over to Hikaru. Placing his hand on his twins side, he threw Hikaru's other arm over his shoulder and began half carrying him. The book hit the floor. Kaoru glanced down and moved right past it. Hikaru was completely out of it now, and suddenly Kaoru regretted again giving him that poison, that stupid whiskey. Back into the dining room, Kaoru had placed Hikaru in the chair on the far end of the table, while he hit the play button on the small boom-box that emitted some sort of instrumental piano. Sad yet refreshing, Kaoru saw it. He over looked the dinner again, everything was amazing looking. One item at a time his eyes made their way to the other end of the table, where Hikaru sit. Looking completely drained of life. It sunk in finally that Hikaru was worse. Much worse. They both looked down at the food infront of them. Each took a bite that tasted like ash. Kaoru took a second bite and realized he no longer needed to salt his food. Opening his eyes, tears poured out like a waterfall. Keeping his head low, he couldn't let Hikaru see, he needed to be strong for him right? Not that it ever seemed to matter before.. right? Hikaru was probably out there crying in the hallway because he saw pictures of Haruhi... Kaoru's gut churned awfully. This meal was supposed to be perfect. He'd been planning it for days.

* * *

Hikaru could barley move he was numb, only physically. Looking up, he noticed his brother trying to hide his tears. Internally Hikaru was going wild. He knew his brother was trying to help him, but there was nothing Kaoru could do for him. And he knew it.  
They both continued to eat in silence.  
The hours past, and finally as Hikaru began sobering up, Kaoru decided to leave at 11:00 on the dot. The usual. Not bothering to clean up, Kaoru gathered his things and headed to the door. Hikaru slowly walked him to it, and whispered goodnight. Kaoru smiled a sad smile, kissing his brother on the cheek for the first time in years, Kaoru whispered back "I love you, goodbye." Turning and leaving quickly, Kaoru didn't notice Hikaru's small smile grace his lips. Hikaru went to bed that night on his own without any alcohol for the first time in years...

* * *

Hikaru was woken the next morning with a loud banging on the door, and for once it didn't hurt his head. Glancing at the mirror on his way down the hall, he noticed he had more color to his face today. Unusual. He smiled, brother would be happy today. He opened the front door with a smile "Hey Kao-.." He blinked. It was raining today. "Is this the residence of a Mr. Hikaru Hitachiin?" He nodded to the police officer. The man handed him a sealed envelope, thanked him, patted him on the shoulder and left. Today was unusual. Hikaru headed into the hallway as he opened the seal on the back of the letter, pulling it out he immediately recognized the handwriting.

* * *

_Dear Mr. Hitachiin,_

* * *

_If you're reading this then we send our dearest condolences._

* * *

_A Mr. Kaoru Hitachiin was found dead in his home last night at_

* * *

_11:45, and he simply left one note. He wished for you to be put into_

* * *

_Alcoholic's anonymous. We hoped you'd be interested, please_

* * *

_contact us right away. We're very sorry for your loss._

_Sincerely,_  
_AA campaign._


	2. How did we get here?

How beautiful.  
The red lights flashing, the ringing of bells, the people all around murmuring and yelling, and the sound of a train engine roaring toward him.  
It was beautiful. Or was it painful? He couldn't really decide, everything around him moved in slow motion, the sounds and movement around him swirled together as if they weren't even happening.  
Suddenly the ground began to shake, his salvation was moving closer.  
The only sound he could make out was the screeching sound of metal against metal as the train attempted to stop itself, but to no avail.  
And like that, Hikaru Hitachiin slipped under the stripped gate that blocked his way from the tracks. People around him were screaming, but not one came to his aid. The train was much too close. He could smell his death now, closing his eyes he took one big leap and awaited his fate. The trains huge horn blared at him, and slowly faded into nothing. Everything was silent. Everything was black.  
And suddenly...  
A car smashed through the gates, into Hikaru. Landing a destructive blow into his back, it blew _him_ out of the way, but only for the car to be destroyed on impact of the train. But _he_ flew through the air, he realized this is not what being hit by a train was like, as his whole front side relentlessly scrapped across the rocky road below him. Every bone in his body had to be broken. Hoards of screaming people were completely muffled out as derby went flying through the air, a flash of metal smashed Hikaru in the head. _Dammit... I can't feel anything... This wasn't supposed to be..this way...  
...Kaoru..I just wanted to be with you again.. Why did you leave me?!..._

With what little energy he had left, tears pooled in the rims of his eyes, and he chocked out small pitiful sobs into the dirt below him.  
His vision was blurry as he began to black out, but when he was sure this was death, he glanced up, only one figure was holding still, contrasted to all the other scattering humans. This figure was lit up with a dim light.  
His eyes shot wide open as he tried to lift his head. "KAORU?!" Blinking, tears ran down his face, clearing his vision somehow. But there was no Kaoru standing there. Suddenly his head fell with defeat, and with a few sobs Hikaru slipped into the black.

_"...Kaoru.."_


	3. Big brother Little brother

_Hikaru!...  
...Hikaru!...  
...Hika.._

"Kaoru?... Why are you calling me?, can't you just come find me?"  
Hikaru couldn't see it was pitch black where ever he was, but all he could hear was Kaoru's voice, and the whirring of machinery...

Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep.

_...No big brother. You're lost.._

With a lurch of pain in his stomach, Hikaru flooded his 24 year old eye lids open. But all he could make out was a very young version of himself being silhouetted by a bright.. white.. light. Oh wait.. That wasn't him, that was Kaoru. How could he have mistaken that? Still blurry-minded, Hikaru began to sob ragged tears, as he tried reaching out to his twin. "Oh goodness Kaoru! It was all just a bad dream! I dreamt we got older and..." Kaoru softly smiled at him, in a sad manner that Hikaru had never seen before. "Kaoru? What's wrong?"

_I love you Hika. But this is the last time we'd get to play the 'which one is Hikaru' game.. _  
"What do you mea-!"  
_I love you brother.. I love you Hikaru.._

..Hikaru.

"KAORU!"

_..Hika..._

"Kaoru PLEASE! Don't leave me again!"

_Big Brother!_

His eyes snapped open, a few tears leaking from his eyes. And to his surprise, leaning over him was none other than six year old, A-geha.  
"Big brother Hikaru!" She yelped in a childish tone.  
Beep. Beep. Beep. Rang against his ear drums. With a hefty sigh he looked over, suddenly realizing he was in a hospital bed. He was stuck in multiple places by IV's and monitors.  
His stomach lurched again, this time he was sure he'd be sick. Realization that he was here because his suicide attempt had failed. He started to weep again, realizing that he'd never see Kaoru again..  
"Big brother Hikaru..."  
Hikaru's head almost snapped he looked over so fast, he could have sworn he'd heard Kaoru.  
It was A-geha. She spoke again. "Hikaru.. why are you hurt?"  
He was taken aback, he didn't expect her to ask, and even more he had been so wrapped up in his depression he didn't realize that as A-geha had grown... She sounded just like... Kaoru..  
"Big brother just had an accident, that's all."  
She smiled, and placed herself in his lap. She seemed so happy, but it soon faded to a frown. "You know big brother.. Kaoru wouldn't want you hurting yourself. He loves you."

Hikaru's heart sank. "A-geha..."  
She wrapped her frail little arms around him and started to cry. "Please big brother! Don't leave me too!"  
That was it, Hikaru's guilt took over his whole body as he wrapped his arms around her and they both burst into tears. Sobs shook him to his core, her tiny little body weeping under him was too much.  
"Brother isn't leaving A-geha.. I promise."

Glancing up, Hikaru's eyes widened as he saw a glowing figure wrapping it's arms around the two of them. It's warmth and comfort was refined, it was Kaoru. The figure soon faded, leaving nothing but the warm feeling of love. A few final tears slipped from Hikaru's eyes as he tightened his hold on A-geha, promising himself to never leave her.

"I love you, Hikaru."  
She sounded just like him...


End file.
